Tired

     I don't think I can adequately explain what it is like to constantly be tired and feeling like you are always running on empty.   I have always needed a lot of sleep.  I don't think I was ever that child that woke at the crack of dawn.  I don't remember a time when napping wasn't a part of my life.  Yet it has gotten even worse since my thyroid problems.  I feel like I drag through life.  I actually asked my endocrinologist in Atlanta if this was as good as it gets. 
     I hear people talk about taking naps.  They say something like 15 minutes just revives me.  Some even admit to, GASP,  taking an hour nap.  I wish!  I have to lay down for several hours, usually about 3.  I know you are thinking that is ridiculous.  However, if I don't take a several hour nap at least 4 days per week I get sick.  I recently tried.  I decided I was wasting too much time sleeping.  So I limited myself to 1 hour naps.  I ended up sick for 5 days!  I never get sick for 5 days.  I was absolutely useless.  I couldn't figure out why the bug I got kicked my butt.  Then I remembered for the 2 weeks prior I wasn't napping liking I should. 
     It is debilitating to be this tired all the time.  I think about all the things I could be getting accomplished in that time.  The things I could do with big sister while little sister naps.  My house could get cleaned.  Big sister and I could to crafts, play games, or even go for a walk while little sister sleeps.  (My husband works from home so we can leave when little sister naps.)  I feel guilty and frustrated that I have to nap.
   People tell me you'd feel better if you exercised.  Maybe a little, but the energy I use exercising means less energy and time for other things.  Trust me I have tried many times.  It does not give me more energy.  Others have said that my body is just used to it and that is why I get so tired.  No, I actually get sick each & every time I try to give up naps.
     I know it is difficult for others to understand.   Even my family who has seen the results of me not napping gets frustrated.  My husband is usually so supportive, but sometimes he gets resentful about my need for so much sleep.  I wish I could live on just 8 hours a night.  I long to have the energy to do everything I want to accomplish in a day. 
     I make up for my sleep issues by being very driven when I am awake.  Most days I am extremely productive, especially considering the actual awake time.  My husband says I have 2 speeds, full speed ahead & sleeping.  There really isn't much in between.  If I am watching TV I am usually also doing something else.  I rarely just sit on the couch and relax.  That is hard for me, because I want to make up for the lost time. 
     In 2 Corinthians 12 Paul talks about a thorn in his side.  He asks God to take it from him, but God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."   I have tried to accept that this is my thorn.  It forces me to depend on God.  I have to rely on His strength to do the things He gives me to do.  I have to trust that He is faithful and he will use this in the lives of my children.  He makes beauty of ashes & he can use this physical limitation to mold me and my children into the women he desires us to be.
      I already see the results in big sister.  She has learned to entertain herself and enjoys her alone time.  She is so nurturing to me, reminding me to take my nap.  Recognizing when I am getting run down and need to rest.  Yes, I can see God's hand in it all.  I just need to surrender my will & my vision of what I should be for God's will & vision of who I am in Him. 

Strange Breed

     Yes it is true.  Homeschool moms are a strange breed.  We choose to keep our kids home with us instead of sending them off to school.  While other moms are counting down the days until they can send their kids back to school we are busy planning what we are going to be teaching.  We scour catalogs, websites & read information in various forums.  We evaluate and reevaluate what worked and didn't work the previous year.  What is even stranger is we find all this fun and dare I say exciting.
     We love to discuss with others what curriculum we are using and why we chose that curriculum.  We like to share our knowledge and anything we might make to use in school.  I have to say the entire sharing thing is big for teachers in the classroom too.  I always found it flattering when someone liked what I was doing so much that they copied me or asked me for the unit.  Homeschoolers are the same way.  Just check out the blogs & websites of homeschoolers and you will find a enormous amount of free material. It is possible to homeschool and never buy a curriculum.
     In the spirit of our strangeness below is what I choose to use for 1st grade and why. The materials I have  chosen requires quite a bit of student - teacher interaction.  It is not sitting at a table filling out worksheets.  Your child will not be able to work independently for long periods of time.  It requires you to be there and be engaged. 

Horizons Math Grade 1:  I have really enjoyed this curriculum.  I originally chose Horizons because big sister needed more then most kindergarten programs offer.  It is an advanced curriculum that uses a spiral approach.  This means we don't do measurement for a few weeks and then move on to the next topic.  It introduces new information in little bits and gives plenty of time to get it before it introduces something new.  Each lesson covers several different topics.  This has been extremely successful for us.

Shurley English Level 1:  This program has amazed me.  It introduces the parts of speech via jingles.  We review the jingles everyday and practice classifying the words in a sentence.  So far in first grade my girl has learned how to identify nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs & articles.  I have never experienced a grammar program that is actually enjoyable.  My daughter asks if we can do grammar!

All About Spelling Level 1:  I was blown away the first time I saw this material.  I have a masters degree in Literacy so this is really my field of expertise.  This program is the best of the best.  The methods are based on Orton-Gillingham which is one of the best methods for teaching reading.  It will work well for all children including those with special needs.  It utilizes oral, verbal & tactile learning styles.  Many people find they can complete more then 1 level each year.  I have chosen to not do this since we already have so much that we are doing and I don't want to rush through. 
A Reason for Science Level A:  I have been so impressed by this curriculum.  The fact that I was able to order a box that included everything I needed to do the experiments was awesome.  I knew I wouldn't get the experiments done if I had to first collect the materials.  This makes it easy for me.  It doesn't take much time to complete the lessons and it is fun. I supplement the material with Magic School Bus and books on the topic we are studying. 
Alpha Omega Life Pac History and Geography 2nd grade:  We did the 1st grade one in kindergarten.  We read and discuss the information together.  I supplement this with books on the topic.  We have liked it, but I wouldn't want to do all subject matters in this format.  I also supplement it with a Map Skills for Today Book 2 by Weekly Reader.  I love maps and have passed down this love to my girl. 
Horizons Reading & Phonics K & Explode the Code Books 1 & 2:  I like this Reading & Phonics program, but I felt it was moving too fast.  So I did not finish the book 4 last year.  Instead we are finishing it this year.  We have also completed Explode the Code books 1 & 2.  I started the year doing Explode the Code and once we finished those we started doing book 4 of Horizons.  These in combination with All About Spelling have been effective.  She has also been reading Frog & Toad and Dick and Jane.
Primary Analogies 1:  I don't think it is ever to early too introduce logic to children.  This helps children become flexible with their knowledge.  I am not looking for my daughter to be a robot that spits back information, but someone that can use the knowledge she has to evaluate and assess new information.  We even completed a logic book in Kindergarten called Lollipop Logic that she really liked.
Horizons Health 1:  Once again Horizons does a good job of presenting the material in a very age appropriate manner.  This is not a curriculum that will take all year to complete.  I am currently teaching History & Geography.  Once we complete that then we will do Health. 
Community Bible Study:  We attend CBS on Tuesdays.  This study includes homework that has to be completed before we go each week.   Big girl and I are studying the same scripture.  Of course her homework is age appropriate.  CBS is a wonderful program that both my girls have been in since the time they were infants.  I am amazed at the amount of bible knowledge my big girl has acquired because of this wonderful program.  I have chosen to use this in lieu of any other bible curriculum.  
**We completed Primary Analogies and after we finished that we began our Map Skills book.      
     Completing all this takes us about 2- 2 1/2 hours a day. We do PE at a local gym and we attend a co-op on Fridays.  All of these things makes for a well-rounded education for my girls.
     I have planned out what I believe we will be doing through 5th grade, but my plan is flexible.  Many of the things I have listed we will continue with a few exceptions like history and reading.  In History we will study regions of the US next year and then start Homeschool in the Woods Time Traveler curriculum.  In reading we will start novel units next year since that is the what I taught for many years and I already have numerous materials assembled. 
     So what about you.  Is there anything you use that you really love?  I'd love to hear about it! 

Free Will

     Christian parents often have unrealistic expectations.  They assume that if they raise their child in a loving Christian home their child will live out their life as devoted followers of Jesus.  And if their child does not do this and chooses to live life in away that is completely contrary to our convictions we blame ourselves.  We play that if only game.  If only I had ...  We decide we are the ones responsible for our child's decision.  Other Christians may even start to wonder what they did wrong.  I mean they seemed like a good Christian family, but something must have been wrong in their home.  After all you never know what goes on behind closed doors. 
     It is true we are not perfect parents.  We make mistakes and mess up.  However, God was the perfect parent to Adam & Eve and they rebelled.  Judas spent three years with Jesus.  He was one of the 12 disciples.  He heard Jesus teach on numerous occasions.  He was privy to an intimate relationship with Jesus.  Yet he betrayed Jesus.  Turned him over to those that killed him for just a few pieces of silver. 
     We seem to forget that we have been given free will.  We have to choose for ourselves who we are going to serve. 
     We need to cut ourselves & others some slack.  The most we can do is raise our children in a loving environment, teach the truths of the scripture, pray for our children and do the best we can .  Acknowledge your mistakes, but don't beat yourself up over those mistakes.  We aren't perfect and even if we were that is no guarantee our child would choose Jesus.